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(2) A Failing Ember (9:26)
a [00:00] Never Innocent Again
b [03:17] The Winding Stair
c [04:46] Three Flowers
d [07:25] Deus Caritatis
A FAILING EMBER
a) Never Innocent Again
Underneath a pine there’s a path to Hell,
at the far end of the garden
by the disused stone well,
and once upon a morning at summer’s end
I ventured there, a curious child never innocent again.
A sussurus enticed me, lust drove me on,
and far too weak the will
to turn from that path once set upon.
A loathing and desire never felt before,
I’m terrified and nauseous to the bone,
still wanting more.
Now all that is past,
but all that is present is tainted.
A star before dawn, a dream to hold on to.
In all this pain and silence,
I smile ‘cause I believe my very final mile ends
in beauty and light
that’s now but a failing ember,
a dream of yonder childhood garden
I must remember, guard with my life,
must hang on to, always.
Demons serve in fear daring no complaint
as humans rule the infernal halls
without pity or restraint.
I saw the heartless deeds of which I’m
capable, and ere I left three flowers of Hell
had set root within my soul.
c) Three Flowers
The first of the blossoms, Envia is her name,
her scent like the screams of men dying in torment.
The second is called Avaricia, she is mute,
but her silence is that of a dread that lies dormant.
Yet greatest of sins, greatest foe in my heart
is Hubris, seductress, the fairest of roses,
first brought out of Eden by Lilith to part
every woman and man from their innocence.
Three flowers of festering lies upon the soul,
their name is a stain upon each tongue ever
spoken, and lips that but utter it forever remain soiled;
the architects once of the Tower of Babel, the flaw in the first shape
Jeremiah’s potter made.
And their name is your name, but yours is not
theirs: it’s the slamming of Eden’s gates
closing on mankind, it’s Adam’s lament and
it’s Cain’s cry in anger. Who bears them is dead,
though he lives.
Though he walks, he is walking dust.
d) Deus Caritatis
I beseech you from the threshold of death’s domain:
Can no measure of salvation
– no speck, no grain –
be derived from righteous force of will’s
(A voice:) “He is Deus Caritatis”